The Media’s Influence: How Alcohol Became a Confidence Symbol

If you've ever thought, Alcohol makes me feel sexier and more confident, you’re in great company. I once held that belief too.

But have you ever wondered how we came to see fermented grapefruit juice—containing the same ethanol found in gasoline—as a magical potion for unleashing our most irresistible, sexual selves? 

We didn’t invent this belief out of thin air. Beliefs form through observation and experience. My impression of alcohol’s magic came long before my first drink. I remember being 14, watching Sex and the City, mesmerized as Carrie and her friends sipped champagne and wine over dinner. I dreamed of becoming an independent, confident woman like them. I pictured myself in delicate French lingerie, a glass of wine in hand, fully in charge in the bedroom.

And for years, it seemed I had arrived. I moved through bars and hotel rooms, feeling charming, magnetic—until, deep into my drinking career, an unfamiliar woman began staring back at me in the mirror. Dark circles under her eyes, a puffy face beneath last night’s smudged makeup, the scent of stale booze clinging to her like my drunk uncle at Christmas. The reflection no longer fit the image of attractiveness I once chased.

After I left alcohol behind, I started to question: How exactly does this dark red liquid enhance our charm? And what’s the real connection between alcohol, feeling sexy, and true attractiveness?

Alcohol’s Hidden Side Effects: From Testosterone Drops to Aging Skin

Some clear-headed thinking made one thing obvious—alcohol doesn’t work like makeup or Botox, enhancing our appearance on the surface. Nor does it grant us wit or intelligence we don’t already possess.

But a little digging uncovered something else. Alcohol actually reduces testosterone levels in both men and women. One study found that rats fed a steady diet of alcohol experienced a 50% decrease in testicle size. In humans, lower testosterone comes with a few decidedly unsexy side effects—breast enlargement, hair loss, weight gain, and disrupted sleep. Add in dehydration, which leads to bloodshot eyes, puffiness, bloating, and even premature aging, and suddenly, alcohol doesn’t seem so glamorous.

That temporary boost in confidence? It’s just an illusion. Alcohol lowers inhibitions and slows self-conscious thoughts thanks to its depressant effects. But in reality, we’re still the same as before—just a little more disheveled, a little less sharp, and with a few side effects that don’t exactly scream irresistible.

Letting Go of Alcohol’s False Promises: Rewrite Your Belief

Today, as a sobriety coach, I work with men and women who want to take a break from alcohol or leave it behind for good. Many have tried willpower and white-knuckling, only to find themselves still feeling deprived, as if they’re missing out. That’s because most mainstream methods focus on drinking less, rather than addressing the deeper beliefs that drive the desire to drink in the first place.

But modifying alcohol consumption is only one piece of the puzzle. Real, lasting change happens when we address all four pillars of what I call the Sobriety System—a framework designed to reshape not just habits but the beliefs that fuel them.

Beliefs are the invisible force behind our actions, shaping our thoughts, influencing our feelings, and driving our behaviors. Take the belief “Alcohol makes me feel sexier and more confident.” That belief fuels the desire for a drink. If we act on it, we strengthen the connection between alcohol and confidence. If we resist, we may feel deprived—because the underlying belief remains unchallenged. Either way, the belief continues to hold power.