Vol. 39 4 Core Fears Behind Social Anxiety
Social anxiety can be painfully intense—sometimes even debilitating.
But what exactly are we afraid of?
The social interaction itself?
Not quite.
Even most socially anxious people can find themselves quite comfortable around people they truly trust.
So what is the fear then?
According to Dr. Ellen Hendriksen, a clinical psychologist who helps millions calm their anxiety, social anxiety is less about the social situation itself, but what we fear the social situation would reveal about us.
Dr. Hendriksen calls it: the Reveal.
While what each person fears being revealed is different.
The self-perceived flaws fall into four core categories:
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The Anxiety: A person might be afraid that others would discover their anxiety -- the sweaty palm, the shaky voice, or the blush on their neck.
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The Appearance: One might believe there is something flawed or shameful about the way they look -- that their hair is too oily, the way they dress is not fashionable enough, or their look just doesn’t measure up.
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The Character: This is a common one. A person might believe there is something wrong with their entire personality -- that they are too uptight, not cool enough, too stupid, or just fundamentally defective.
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The Social Skills: Last, one might fear that their social skills don’t measure up -- that they are too awkward, not knowing how to say the right thing, too boring, or too quiet.
And that brings us to the first step in interrupting the social anxiety drinking loop: Awareness is power.
