Vol.48 The purpose of loneliness

One of the first things I learned in becoming a therapist was that all human emotions and feelings serve a purpose — even the painful ones.

If you had to take a guess…
What purpose do you think the feeling of loneliness serves?

At first glance, there don’t seem to be any benefits to this aversive emotional state.
It’s painful and hard to shake.
In fact, scientists even equate battling loneliness to smoking 15 cigarettes a day.

But here’s the thing: loneliness is a messenger.

Just like hunger urges you to search for food and thirst prompts you to find water, the emotional pain of loneliness signals you to seek social connection.

But in modern life, more and more of us have learned to turn to distraction instead.

Social media,
Busy schedules,
And yes — alcohol…
… all become quick ways to escape loneliness.

They work conveniently in the short term, but in the long run, they come with an inconvenient consequence.

Next week, we’ll dive into how alcohol can ease loneliness in the moment yet quietly perpetuate it over time.

More soon,
Jeanette

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Old: “When loneliness hits, I need to distract myself to make it go away.”

New: “Loneliness is a signal to reach out and connect. The real antidote isn’t distraction; it’s connection.”