Vol. 52 Tough Love vs. Self-compassion 

The first time I learned about self-compassion was in graduate school.
It was such a foreign concept to me.

Growing up, I was used to tough love.

• Harsh feedback framed as motivation. 
• Love expressed through sharp words and criticism 
• Feelings get dismissed instead of validated or comforted. 

The idea of treating myself with kindness seemed both appealing and terrifying.

Part of me was afraid that if I started being kind to myself, it would feel like a pity party or self-indulgence — and that I’d never get to where I wanted to go if I stopped being harsh with myself.

I’m glad I didn’t let those doubts overpower my curiosity.

It wasn’t until I actually started practicing it that I discovered the real benefits of self-compassion. As I learned to be kinder to myself:

• More happiness, less depression

• More life satisfaction, less anxiety

• More self-confidence, less stress
  
  

And finally:

a more steady, thriving alcohol-free life — and less pull to reach for a drink to quiet my inner critic.

If you’re like most people I work with, the idea of self-compassion might feel foreign, and you might not even know where to start.

Luckily, Kristin Neff, the founder of Mindfulness Self-Compassion, breaks it down into 3 simple, core elements.

Want to discover what they are?

Check out this month’s deep dive lesson.

✨ Micro-Dose Takeaway: Your Member-Only Bonus

 (This extra insight lives in the vault for SCS members only — simply log in to enjoy your exclusive content)

Many people are afraid that self-compassion means being self-indulgent or throwing themselves a pity party. They worry that if they’re too easy on themselves, they’ll slip back into old drinking patterns.

But research shows the opposite.

In a 2020 study, researchers followed people after alcohol treatment to see how self-kindness affected recovery. Over four months, they found that those who practiced noticing their thoughts and cravings without judgment tended to drink less over time.