Vol.7 Why breaking the habit isn’t about willpower

By now, we have talked about how habit loops work.
Cue → Routine → Reward.
And how craving is the emotional fuel that keeps the loop spinning.

But here’s something most people don’t realize: 

Once a habit loop is formed, we can’t unform it.
Every time the cue is triggered, your brain will anticipate the reward.

But the good news?
You can still change the habit.
You don’t have to erase the loop—you just have to redesign it.

This is where something called the Golden Rule of Habit Change comes in.

According to Charles Duhigg, author of The Power of Habit, the golden rule is:

“Keep the cue. Provide the same reward. Insert a new routine.”

In other words:
Trying to white-knuckle your way through a craving rarely works.
But finding a different action that gives you a similar emotional payoff? That’s where real change happens.

For Julio the monkey (remember him from the Deep Dive video?), it looked like replacing blackberry juice with a banana.

Simple.

For us humans, though—especially when alcohol has been used to meet deeper emotional needs—changing the routine takes more curiosity.

We have to decode the loop first.
What cues have I learned to associate with drinking?
And what reward is alcohol actually giving me—relief? Escape? Connection?

That’s why in the next email, I’ll walk you through one of my favorite tools:
The 6-Factor Method—a simple, powerful way to crack your personal habit loop and start experimenting with new routines that actually work.

More soon,
Jeanette