The hardest traps to recognize aren't the ones that look dangerous. They're the ones that look harmless, maybe even helpful, but secretly undermine us.

There is even a Buddhist term for this: near enemy.

A near enemy is something that resembles a thing or a quality we want so much that we often mistake it for the real deal. But a near enemy is not the real thing, and it often leads us away from what we want.

Sometimes, I think that the reason alcohol can be so irresistible for many of us is that it’s so good at giving us the near enemies of the things we deeply desire.

Let me give you a few examples:

We want confidence.
Alcohol gives us liquid courage.

We want a good night's sleep.
Alcohol gives us sedation.

We want belonging.
Alcohol helps us fit in.

We want happiness.
Alcohol gives us pleasure.

Alcohol can keep us trapped by giving us a taste of something that feels almost like what we want, while secretly leading us away from the real thing we deeply desire.

I call this a Near Enemy Trap.

It’s one of the invisible traps we’ll explore more deeply in my upcoming Sober Curiosity Lab 2.0, a year-long guided journey to help growth-oriented adults break an old drinking pattern and rediscover joy and fulfillment beyond alcohol.

If you would like to hear more when the program opens, you can join the waitlist here.

Jeanette