Here is the third mistake that often holds people back when they try to change their relationship with alcohol: trying to remove it without replacing it. 

It makes sense. When the goal is to quit drinking or drink less, of course, we'd focus on removing alcohol from our lives.

So, this is what we do:

• When 7 pm rolls around, we try to white-knuckle our way through the craving for a drink.  

• As we step into a party, we try our best to push down the urge to order a drink just like everyone else. 

• And sitting on the couch on a quiet Sunday afternoon, we try to ignore the little voice that says, "Just open the bottle."

We work so hard, almost heroically, to remove alcohol from our lives. 

But you see, for most seasoned drinkers, drinking is not just a random behavior; it’s a routine that serves a purpose. 

• When wine o’clock comes around, a glass of wine may be the routine you use to switch off your work brain and transition into relaxation mode.

• As you step into a party, ordering a drink may be the routine that helps you turn on your "social self."

• And on a quiet Sunday afternoon, opening a bottle of wine may be the routine you use to escape boredom, fill the emptiness, or make the time pass a bit faster. 

Through years of repetition, drinking becomes the default way to help you move from state A to state B, whether it’s from work mode to relaxation, from feeling tense to more at ease, or from being unstimulated to feeling engaged.

And when a routine serves a purpose, we will continue to feel the pull toward it until we find another way to serve that same purpose.

I call these Automated Routines.

They are the third invisible force that keeps pulling us back to the same drinking cycle.

I'm curious:

What is one purpose your drinking routine serves in your life? 

Jeanette

P.S. In my most recent reel, I shared how Automated Routine once kept me stuck. You can watch it below: