Here is the final mistake that holds many people back when they try to break their old drinking pattern: mistaking learning curves for a lifelong struggle.

Here is the thing: for most seasoned drinkers, drinking is not just one isolated behavior, but something that has become intertwined with many aspects of our lives:

• How we relax and unwind

• How we socialize and connect

• How we spend our free time and stay occupied

To change, or even remove, such an intertwined aspect of our lives often comes with a steep learning curve. It takes time, patience, and trial and error.

In other words, it’s normal, even expected, that:

• When you try to relax without the usual evening beer, it feels awkward and unfamiliar.

• When you attend a social gathering without drinking, you find yourself feeling self-conscious and craving a drink.

• When you decide not to open the bottle of wine on Sunday afternoon, you find yourself restless and unsure what to do with the extra time.

Yet, many of us were made to believe that change should happen overnight once we decide to change.

And when that fails to happen, we feel as if something is wrong with us.

This way of thinking didn't come from nowhere.

Many of us have been told a black-and-white story about drinking: either you can stop effortlessly, or you'll struggle forever. But there is a vast middle ground between those two extremes.

With that narrative:

• Struggling to relax without the usual evening beer becomes proof that you can’t relax without alcohol.
• White-knuckling through a social gathering becomes proof that the craving will always have power over you.
• And giving in to the urge on a quiet Sunday afternoon becomes proof that you are too weak to quit.

Over time, the story can become just as powerful as the alcohol itself, shaping what you believe about yourself, your abilities, and even your identity.

I call this a Limiting Narrative.

It’s the last force in the Invisible Drinking Loop that keeps pulling us back to the same drinking cycle.

I'm curious:

What story have you been telling yourself when you struggle to change your drinking?

Jeanette

P.S. In my most recent reel, I shared how Limiting Narratives have played out in my own journey. You can watch it blow: