What’s the story that brought you here?

Trained as a psychotherapist, I’m a firm believer that the path beyond an outdated relationship with alcohol begins by uncovering the story that brought us here.

And that story, once uncovered, always makes sense, no matter how much the drinking today may no longer seem to make sense. 

So, if you ever feel ready, I’d love to hear your story. 

But today, let me first share with you the story of how I got here: 

It started with a love story 

Many of my clients describe alcohol as feeling like their best friend. But for me, it was once the love of my life. 

I once had a mantra: people come and go, but alcohol is here to stay. 

Long story short, for years, no matter where I was and what I was doing, I’d always make sure to show up for my nightly dates with alcohol before turning in. 

And in return, it took care of all my sorrows and troubles, at least for a while. 

Until it wasn’t 

Somewhere along the line, at points I could never pinpoint, the love affair slowly turned dark. 

The once all-giving alcohol started to take more than it gave. 

When I finally tried to put an end to the love affair, I realized that I no longer knew how. 

That’s when I started to seek help: 

• I went to see a doctor;
• I attended AA meetings; 
• I tried self-help tips…

But nothing clicked. So I chose a path that no doctor has probably ever prescribed: 

Instead of walking into a rehab, I walked into graduate school

Without fully realizing it, I was searching for something different: 

• Not a diagnosis, but an explanation to help me understand why I drank the way I did. 
• Not a higher power, but a way to reclaim my power and agency. 
• Not inspirational quotes or motivational slogans, but a map to heal and grow beyond the pain that led me to drinking in the first place. 

Now, looking back, I realized I was searching for a way that would allow me to make sense of my drinking without judgment and a path to grow beyond it without surrender. 

Eventually, when I couldn’t find it, I built it. 

Today I call it the Invisible Drinking Loop™. 

Over the past few weeks, I've been sharing the four forces that make up this framework with you. But I realized I'd never shared the story of how it came to exist in the first place.

The Invisible drinking loop is my attempt to answer the questions that had kept me up at night for years:  

• Is there something wrong with me?

• Will I always have to fight the desire to drink?

• How can I regain confidence and self-trust beyond alcohol?

• Is it true that I will always be an alcoholic? 

Those are the questions that shaped this work, and they're the questions I hope this framework helps you answer for yourself, too.

More soon, 

Jeanette 

P.S. As I was writing the introduction to my book, I created a simple reflection guide built around five questions to help you uncover how each invisible force may be playing out in your own relationship with alcohol. If you'd like a copy, you can request one here.