Do you know the difference between fitting in and belonging?

I once read a definition somewhere:

• Fitting in is when we have to be like everyone else to be accepted
• belonging is when we are accepted simply by being ourselves.

I used to drink to fit in, and I have worked with many people who do the same. 
Drinking to fit in is one of the main reasons people get stuck in what I call the Social Drinking Loop. Beneath the Social Drinking Loop, there are the fundamental human needs of connection and belonging.

But here is the thing: when we drink to fit in, we mask ourselves — whether it’s our preferences, our feelings, our quirks and uniqueness, or our most authentic selves.

By doing so, it becomes even harder for us to find the true sense of belonging that we deeply yearn for.

I call this the Near Enemy Trap, where alcohol gives us a taste of something that feels almost like what we want, while keeping us from the real thing we deeply desire.

Fitting in vs. belonging is just one way the Near Enemy Trap can show up.

I put together 5 of the most common Near Enemy Traps I see in our relationship with alcohol.